Healing Our Stories
Every once in awhile, if you are lucky, you cross paths with someone and instantly know they were meant to be in your life somehow or someway. The energy, the familiarity, the soul's recognition of another soul connection - that is Kristin. I've known her for several years, but have only seen her in person twice (the second time being last week!). Yet, I've considered her to be a transformational presence. Kristin is a healer. You know it when you feel it. Someone born with a gift but then worked, journeyed, explored and examined to hone, listen and share her gift. She was put on this earth to heal, to feel, to see and honor our humanness, because she is a flawed and hurting human herself. So she learned, through her own healing, how to help others heal themselves. Welcome Kristin, thank you for sharing your gifts.
Healing Our Stories
by Kristin Frank
Loma Life Whole Body Wellness
I recently gathered with an amazing group of women for a Sol-Sister Circle, in celebration of the Summer Solstice + the Divine Masculine and Feminine. It was magical. 17 beautiful souls who all had one thing in common -- every precious spirit present was processing and healing part of their story.
In truth, we were all dealing with feelings of lack. Feeling powerless, beliefs of not being lovable, questioning self-worth, numerous insecurities, the fear of not being or having enough, holding responsibility for other people’s happiness, and so on. And it does go on, because the stories we tell ourselves seem to gather proof around every corner and become so big that we actually become them. We become the very thing we are told to be – the wife and mother, the caretaker, the successful career woman, the do-it-yourself’er and the multi-tasker, the quiet, obedient, invisible, supportive, self-sacrificing, emotionless, peacekeeper -- the one responsible for everything, all of which are the very things that prevent us from living our true purpose.
As I reflect on how I felt when each of us took a turn to share what we wanted to release and then in turn, what we wanted to call into our lives, I felt the echo of each story in my bones. It was almost as if I were them as they spoke the words. I resonated with each and every thing that was held and purposefully, let go.
We were each other’s mirror, reflecting the truth in a radiant light that was shone back to display how the unraveling thread of what kept us bound, can then be weaved back into how we reclaim our power.
Symbolically we were beginning to change the narrative of our story. Not necessarily how others may see us outside the Circle, with eyes focused on what they want us to be, but more so how we saw ourselves in the collective of strong, feminine energy. There was a definitive shift that danced fearlessly amongst the current of healing light that could be both seen and felt.
It is this same sense of belonging that first nudged me to get curious about my own trauma. Once you experience a lightening of the heart, just as a dandelion releases it’s seed wishes when the wind whispers promises of growth and evolution, so does one’s soul.
My desire to uncover the truth of why my body felt so broken, is what ultimately led me to discovering how to be my own medicine. When you live with pain, disability, or an altered mind-body relationship, you have the potential to develop a greater sense of allowing, with how we let pain in. Do we allow more or less? What does more feel like? How do we get to a place of less? That is the big question, isn’t it?
Years of yoga, meditation, and intense self-discovery helped me open the doorway into connecting my physical pain to the repressed emotion that I developed early on in childhood. It took me looking at the ugly parts of myself that I hid, in fear of judgement, to learn to see myself with a new found compassion. Those secrets that we hide, try to hurry us away from our shadow, because there is an unwillingness to see the truth. But, if we never explore those parts of ourselves, we never evolve into who we desire to become. We stay attached to the false belief that we are not worthy of…(insert whatever that may be for you, here).
What we need to understand is that attachments are formed anytime a decision is made with great emotion. It then unconsciously becomes ‘the rule’ of action from then on. The physical response to a stressful situation becomes embedded in the subconscious and will continue to be how we experience similar situations throughout our lives. Only when we begin to tune into our internal navigation system, will we develop an understanding of why we are having the same response to a present situation. We can then offer loving attention to what shows up, and create a new, more mature response to what is happening. It actually reprograms the brain. Take a deep, cleansing breath and let go of the old story. Consciousness can be the salve that bathes the wounds of the past.
If we look at life as if we are all storytellers, our behaviors begin to make a little more sense. Our physical and emotional pain is at the root of the stories we tell ourselves and ultimately how to take ownership of what is not ours to hold. The good news is that we can rewrite our story and shift how the narrative plays out.
For example, here are two stories. Both are my stories. The lesson is that we can let our suffering dictate our story or we can reclaim our power and celebrate a new and nourishing narrative. You get to decide the story of your life.
Once upon a time, there was a middle-aged woman who could never quite get it together. She was never truly extraordinary at anything she did and rarely found joy. Everyone around her was happily married and had the perfect life, except for her. She dreamed about having it all. She knew soon that she would marry the man of her dreams and live happily ever after.
After an intense relationship and hesitation, she accepted a marriage proposal. It could have been her fear of being alone that caused her to ignored so many red flags.
Marriage wasn’t what she hoped it would be. She was miserable in her life. More often than not, she lived in fear. After 5 failed years, she got divorced.
Awhile later, she decided to start dating again. It didn’t go well. She began to feel like the problem was her. Maybe it was because she always so emotional. This could be why she was sick all the time. She’d been sick almost all her life. But, the grown-ups in her life had told her when she was younger, that it was all just in her head. Perhaps she was just crazy.
Once upon a time, there was a vibrant woman who believed in herself and loved life. She found her soul purpose in life. It was her own healing journey that opened her heart to being a guide for others.
She hoped that one day she might eventually grow old with right partner, but she felt strong in who she was and refused to settle for someone who couldn’t grow alongside her.
Mistakes were something she owned and she always learned more about herself in the process. She no longer felt the need to feel shame over being human and began to see how being an empath was a gift. She grew to love that about herself and used her intuition to guide her on a daily basis. This is when she discovered how to begin to release what was no longer her burden to carry. She found purpose to her pain and helped others move through their own similar circumstances. She was exactly who she was always meant to be.
The greatest gift I’ve ever received was learning how to find grace for myself. Someone once told me that my message was in my mess. She was so right. I continue to honor my journey and help others do the same. We all hold the innate power to change behavior and heal the body. Each person’s remedy may be a bit different, but the result is always the same – we release that which no longer serves us.
There can be liberation in becoming very clear about what you would like from your relationship with yourself and others. Don’t settle. That is not your story. Get to know yourself. Uncover what you’re ready to let go of and free yourself from obligation, so that you can make room for all the things that nourish and bring you joy.
Kristin Frank is an Advanced IPT Facilitator, Adaptive Yoga and Mindfulness Teacher, as well as a Reiki Partitioner. Her heart work is serving individuals who have experienced trauma, loss, or disability. Living with a chronic condition herself, she understands that often times the body teaches and the mind needs to follow. It was through her own healing journey that she discovered her passion and learned to arrive with a fire inside.
It is that same fire that brought Kristin to The Institute of Healing Arts, where she discovered deep generational healing. In addition to teaching others how to move through chronic pain at Ecce Yoga in Fargo, ND, she also has her own business, Loma Life Whole Body Wellness, where she shares the universal gift of movement, relaxation, pranayama, Reiki, and Integrative Processing Technique to help her clients learn how to become their own medicine. Graduating from IHA in 2021 with Clinic in Excellence and Emotional Leadership, Kristin is a Certified Emotional Health Facilitator who works intuitively with clients over the phone and in person, blending her unique knowledge for full body integration.
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